Several people over the last couple years have asked me why I did a film like “Dreams Awake.”  Usually my initial thought (or question) is, why not?  I actually replied that to people a few times before I realized that answer doesn’t go over too well, as if I am questioning a person’s question right off instead of truly considering it.  And maybe for some that seems a bit snarky.  But that isn’t where I’m really coming from when I think (or say) that.  What I’m saying is that what I’m trying to communicate through the film’s lens should be more common issues than what they are in our modern world, instead of being ‘out there’ like some would think.  Don’t you think?  However, it did get me to thinking about where all these motivations possibly started within my own life.  And this is what I came up with…

Yes, I could go quite a ways back if I really want to get the root of my impetus for making this film.  And so I did.  Well, when I was only a few years old, I had my first series of out-of-body experiences (OOBE’s as they call them).  Of course, at the time I had no idea what had happened to me.  And I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it at that time.  For sure they would think I was crazy, and in fact I did actually think something was wrong with me.  So I kept my mouth quite shut.  Not even my parents knew about it.

Then in my teen years, I had another series of these experiences, which were incredibly vivid.  That got me thinking even more, and so I figured it was time to investigate what the hell was going on with me.  I also happened to tell some of my close friends about all this.  They told me I was nuts.  Go figure.  But then a funny thing happened.  A side effect of trying to figure out what was happening to me, was me beginning a kind of personal quest.  At the time I didn’t think of it as particularly ‘spiritual’ or religious in any sense, only as a truly serious need that I had to figure out.  Or else I wasn’t sure what was to become of me.

That led me to trying different systems in ‘inner inquiry’ as I left my teen years and toiled in college.  Eventually I learned to how to meditate in a way that was particularly suited to me.  And once I practiced that for awhile, and then continued it regularly over the years, I felt I had found a path that accessed my inner being and became a vehicle for all types on inner growth.  It felt like a Godsend and a true fountain of unlimited thirst quenching.

During the early part of that process I went on a trip (or maybe you could call it a pilgrimage?) to Mt. Shasta with a few of my friends.  How truly wonderful!  Certainly it was a life-altering set of experiences, and forever opened my eyes in more ways than I could ever successfully communicate in the English language.  Over the past four decades I have made several trips back to that mountain and learned many things that I could easily write a book (or two) about.  Yes, I have had several spiritual, mystical, metaphysical, whatever you want to call it, experiences on that very special mountain.  But I am essentially a private person, so I’m not going into any real detail about them right here and now (maybe if I do write a book?).

We eventually got a place near Mt. Shasta several years ago.  And one day while looking up at the mountain from the deck I marveled at how majestically beautiful she was at that moment.  And how cinematic.  And then I wondered why no one had ever shot a film up here.  Once that thought germinated, a story sparked and begin to flow out and then gushed all over.  And well, here we are.

Now of course, this is an abbreviated version of a fairly involved, complicated story and set of events.  And in the end, I always felt the film was actually my gift to the mountain for all she has done for me over all these years.  And right now, just thinking about how much I have gotten, fills and overflows my heart.  And yet, the gift of our little film seems so small in return, compared to her boundless gifts to me.  Hhhmmm … maybe it is getting near time to finally write that book?

Happy Holidays!
JAD

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