I was recently going through some old files, and came across my old film blog I use to write that led up to the making of “Dreams Awake”.  So, just for a little fun I thought I’d repost one of the old entries. This one is from early 2007 (and which may still be apropos today?).  Enjoy!

RAM — February 28, 2007

A bull in a china shop, an image problem, or a reality check? …

Rebel. Anarchist. Maverick. Compliment or disparaging remark? Over the years I’ve had these words thrown at me by various people because of certain acts or attitudes that seemed to have reflected what I was about, or what I was doing. True or false? Most of the time I considered them a compliment of sorts. But other times, well…after some reflection, they were probably not really meant that way. I’m not here today to set any record straight, but I thought it would be a good time to expound on my philosophy of what I’m trying to do. As a filmmaker, as a human person…as a higher being in training? …

Following is just a snippet of what I believe, feel and think about what I’m trying to accomplish. After that, well, you can judge for yourself. Or not. Judgment seems a bit harsh, but then the world can certainly be that way. I usually prefer to reserve judgments as they are oftentimes incorrect. I decided a while back to get out of that business. Anyway, I’m getting off the track. Do what you will with what you got …

I’d like to think that the world should (and could) be a better place when we leave it than when we came into it. A lofty goal, maybe. But, why not try? Now however, it seems to be a bit more difficult (or more challenging) premise to adhere to. I guess in lots of small ways over a lifetime we probably contribute to both good and bad, but if the scales were weighed at the end of my life I’d like to think they came out on the positive side. For karma’s sake? Hhhmmm, not sure, but I’m reminded of the quote; ‘Do no harm.’ Or how about, ‘do good for good is good to do for good’s sake’? A bit corny and idealistic? Sure, but there’s no harm in at least trying …

I wish I’d had bosses more like me. Not that I particularly relish being the boss or the guy in charge, but I feel I’m a very fair person. I believe in the team concept where the team is greater than the sum of its parts. If I am in charge I feel I’m more of a guiding hand or principle, moving the whole unit in the direction it needs to go to accomplish what its purpose for being is. I try never to rule with an iron hand or use fear as a tool. In fact, I think of people involved with me as someone I work ‘with’ not that they work ‘for’ me. Are there times when I will have to pull rank? Unfortunately, yes. But I hate doing it. And yes, there have been times when I was in management when I had to do exactly that. Two extreme cases come to mind. Both times involved a revolt of sorts when most of my staff wanted something from me and forced me into a corner at a most inopportune time. And both times I fired them on the spot. Were they ever shocked. And I hated doing it, but they forced my hand. Actually, they took advantage of my loose management style, because I refuse to micromanage and they mistook that for weakness. Which was a big mistake and miscalculation of their part. ‘Walk softly and carry a big stick’, as TR said. But I try to do it without showing the big stick. When I put someone in a position, I expect them to do their job, but I don’t look over their shoulders to see if they are. I try to give people plenty of room and the benefit of the doubt, but if they take advantage of that, well then, it might be time to show the big stick. And hopefully I don’t have to use it. Some might say that’s ruling by fear, but that is absolutely the last resorted tactic. I always much prefer positive, hardworking, visionary teamwork …

Back to being the R.A.M. and my philosophy of that. Systems, operations and structures (S-O-S) versus the individual. We now live in a highly organized society, which oftentimes grates upon the individual’s way of going about his business. Gatekeepers, insiders and brown-nosers enclose these SOS’s to attempt to insure efficiency is the norm, no matter that the cost to the individual. Individuals are now subservient to the SOS, and have to struggle to maintain their own unique identity. None of this is really new, as people have been discussing this for decades if not centuries at some level. For me, independent film is an area where it is still possible as a RAM to buck the SOS. Don’t you just love these nutty acronyms? Using them probably reveals that I have been brainwashed by the system, but at least I’m aware of it and can react accordingly. Anyway, like I was saying indie film ‘may be’ an area of our society where the individual still has a voice. But guess what? That’s a paradox. Because it takes a group of individuals to make a film, and thus it becomes a group experience trying to create a singular individual vision. Therein lies the crux of the problem, or more correctly, the fun of the challenge. I’m searching for people who are up to that. Are you out there? …

In conclusion (although there is no real conclusion, as this is an ongoing debate), when someone tells me that ‘no, you can’t do it that way’, that just motivates me further. If that makes me a RAM, then so be it. You probably don’t want me knocking on your door, because I might just be there to ram it down. Although I’d probably just prefer to build you a newer, better one, if you’ll help me do it. Are you ready to play? Are you game? Are you out there? …

 Jerry

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